sleep now in the fire

i'm tired and listless. i got my sleep time screwed up again. but, hey, that's my problem. got the facility ppl to replace a few burnt bulbs in the lab this morning. finally. but now it's freakin bright like nobody's business pulak. i should last the remaining of the day with rage blasting through. quite 'soothing' this one.. guerrilla radio and such. work is endless. can't seem to get a breather. it'll get especially intense when your work will be used to report about the program's status to the upper management. pretty high visibility but more exposure on your work too.. so can't play2.

been invited to go to a friend's bachelor's party. it's gonna be in late april. the friend's irish and he's getting married to a nice girl from texas (that's one way of getting yer green card, eh! hehe!). i've never been to one, so this would make for a good experience. i bet it would be crazy! i still have to figure out whether i want to play in the austin scott tennis tournament in boulder which starts the following weekend or not. and there's also the possibility of me traveling to singapore on a business trip too. the date should work out and i've told the gang i'll be going.. i mean, what could possibly be wrong, right?! being the sober one amongst drunken friends..;)

right now i'm thinking about me mom's singge ike ayo. bestnye dok rumah.. . whenever i go home, my mom would prepare dishes to my heart's desire (my sisters could attest to this hehe). most of the dishes are typically simplistic in their creation and presentation. i could go 2-3 plates of rice with only the singge (or it's formalized letter - 'singgang' - methinks), budu, and sambal tumis udang. fancier dishes - nasi kerabu with its full compliments of ayam percik (bbq'd chicken with specially prepared coconut-based sauce) and daging bakar (grilled marinaded beef) and solok lada (malaysian pepper stuffed with, urm, 'stuff' - minced fish and others) and bawang jeruk (pickled garlic) and keropok (fish chips). i'd go gaga over laksam (some say it's the kelantanese style laksa) and my mom's incredibly bottom-less combo tomyam, and satay baung (the best satay this side of the titiwangsa), and the pau buns sold in front of HUSM, and the occasional lawar (minced raw fish mixed with long beans and daun kesum and squeezed lime juice).. aiihhh, bestnye dok rumah.

back to reality then. i'm actually looking forward to the up-coming trip to singapore. not entirely for the obvious reasons (not in any particular order - read: family, friends, food, and a certain someone), but also for a change of scenery and perspective. it's good to get away from normalcy sometimes. often times it could rejuvenate a stale heart and mood. then of course a well-deserved time-off before the next vicious cycle sucks me in again. such is life... hope everybody's doing well. stay safe.. stay healthy:)

my poor brain

procastinator extraordinaire. i don't really know where i get that from.. sis, any ideas? and i don't know how i got to where i'm at right now by being super-lazy. maybe i actually did get some things right over the course of my life. this would probably be a good time to start looking at what i've been through and where my life should be headed to. i have a little over a year left before i hit the big 30. ouch! it doesn't hurt a little. however i believe that there's nothing wrong in getting old. it's a fact of life. and the sooner we understand that, the better we'll feel when the time actually arrives. i don't particularly feel any wiser or any better with aging. but it somewhat gives me a wider scope of perspective into life. more experience-lah konon2nye. i'm pleasantly happy with what i have while still having the burning desire to achieve the many dreams that i have. i wish i could've done a lot of things differently but such is life.. win some, lose some. in a sense, i achieve better results doing things last minute. nothing beats having an adrenaline rush going through 4-5 chapters of chem2 before its exam in 4 hours, or preparing a presentation package in less than 1/2 hour to an audience that includes the VP, and so on. i'm sure you've been through these at one point or the other. so being a procastinator extraordinaire is not all bad. you'll discover how creative and resourceful you can be. and the satisfaction you'll get afterwards.. let's just say it's, urm, orgasmic (sorry, can't think off a better adjective hehe.. but you know what i mean). currently listening to guns n roses' greatest hits. i'd say their official debut album appetite for destruction is their 'greatest hits' album by its own right. but what do i know.. . and foo fighters' the colour and the shape. damn! i rock!! okeh-kokeh, hope everybody's doing well with the earthquake and all. do stay safe k. ciao!

slither

it's saturday. i'm tired still. wanna sleep in a little bit more, please. but woke up early. i was gonna work on the immigration questionaire AND file my taxes, but opted to go to denver to watch football. could've gone to copper and snowboard. first experience of going to an irish pub in denver to catch, 1) england vs. nothern ireland at 8am, and 2) republic of ireland vs. israel at 8.50am. while the former was a lively and entertaining match, which england won 4-0, the latter was somewhat of a snore-fest. ireland started off brightly enough and scored within the first 4-minutes, courtesy of the very impressive damien duff and on-and-off clinton morrison. then it went 'blurry' for 86-minutes, like a bad dream that you can't remember, or don't want to remember, before the israelis scored a stunner on the dead. 1-1. ireland lost 2-points rather than gained one-point. england had 80% of the possession but had to wait till the 47th minute before joe cole scored and went on a 16-minutes scoring spree. michael owen, an own goal, and frank lampard. the day's not lost yet though. i will get the immigration questionaire done and 'start thinking' about filing the taxes. nothing beats a good saturday off from work.

corporate espionage. what those two words mean to you? i got first-hand taste of what it's like yesterday. got a call from an ex-manager of mine. kinda surprised that he called. i don't think we had a super working relationship the last time i worked for him. but he sounded pleasant enough and friendly. till he started asking me for a few of the company's propriety documents (those are company's patented designs, confidential stuff, trade secrets). what would you do? for all i know, he could be working for 'the enemy'. the company where i'm employed right now has taken extensive measures to protect its trade secrets, which includes educating the importance of these documents and the consequences of our actions, and having all employees signed legal documents. bottom line, the company wants to keep whatever edge or advantage that it has over its competitors by protecting its trade secrets. heck, i could be fired for even entertaining such requests! i wrote back to him and basically said no and haven't heard back from him since. it's not worth getting fired for. kinda pissed off with him for putting me in that situation when he obviously knows the consequences. plus i can't recall a single favor he made for me when i worked for him. go figure!

could you settle for second best? i guess it depends. if i'm expected to be the best, then coming out second would be a heartbreaking experience. now if i'm not expected to be anywhere near to the top, ending up second would be a pleasant surprise. can you tell why you love somebody? is it because.. of his/her looks?.. she's got curves? he's got a 6-pecs? he/she drives a sports car? he/she lives in a condo? he/she makes you feel comfortable? safe? wanted? desirable? why? for what reasons? yes, fate has a lot to do with it, but it has to be initiated by a certain attraction. i dunno. just an interesting subject i guess. do you have any thoughts?

enough space

i had spicy seafood sashimi for lunch, with two bowls of rice. there's a nice, little japanese restaurant, sakura, nearby my office. it's owned and run by malaysians. oddly enough, there's another japanese restaurant in chinatown in london where it's also being run by malaysians (dunno about its ownership though). i think it's 'odd' considering that the few japanese restaurants that i've been too, two of them are run by malaysians. now if you go to chinatown in london, you can't miss the place.. it's the only japanese restaurant there (but don't quote me on it pulak k!). good food and warmth. i forgot what it's called, my bad. during the same london trip, i ventured into london's red-light district. curiosity kills the cat.. and curiosity also burned a deep hole in my pocket. it was a wet and cold night. i walked there alone without knowing any better, just curious(?!). the crowd can be intimidating. lotsa nice restaurants. remember an indonesian restaurant. and strip clubs. one particular strip club (can't remember what it's called though, been doing a good job forgetting it hehe.. very painful and embarassing). got sweet-talked by this innocent-looking makcik at the counter *me bonehead*.. got in. the room was dimly lit. not too many 'patrons' tonight, it's too early kot. saw an oriental-looking pakcik in one corner coolly sipping a cold one. blur. a coupla dances and a glass of coke later, i was presented with a bill that reads - 140pounds-sterling. WTF!! didn't even get a lap dance! seriously thought about making a mad dash towards the entrance, but decided against it after seeing two big bouncers looking my way. i swore i saw one of them with a gun under his jacket. that moment i realized how screwed i was. acted cool, paid the bill, then left.. bitching and cursing at no-one in particular. the scene in 'closer' definitely brought back memories hehe. now, if only i could remember that portuguese girl's name... hmmm.. me bonehead like that sometimes. do take care, and have a beautiful day k!

my hero

wah! could've never imagined such overwhelming response i got yesterday. i must be getting popular with the ladies hehe.. thanks!! definitely made my day:)

anyways, am still kinda bummed out from indoor soccer on sunday (a little bit) and was compounded by another heart-breaking loss (our fourth on the trot) on monday night in boulder (arrgghh!). but such is life.. win some, lose some. glad everybody's cool about it though. sometimes you can't be too serious about stuff. you have to able to laugh at yourself more. and kudos to my dear sister for drawing, urm, inspiration from my continuous pursuit of fitness (hehe..!) BERUSAHA-LAH!! still haven't seen the blazing red satria. din was supposed to sms me the picture. but nada. expect it to be as good-looking as it sounds. pictures please. now i really can't to wait to put in a new engine in her. think i'm gonna name her too!

i've been indecisive alot of times in my entire existence. i'm sure it's true to most of us mere mortals. it may be attributed to the fact that i'm a gemini (never believe this though). hence a simple, straight-forward question such as "what one thing in this world that would make me happy?" seems so hard (thanks, lissa. now you got me 'burning' some brain cells, thinking! hehe!). why? i dunno. it may be true that i have alot in mind, but i should at least have a hint or two. or maybe it's because i could be happy with a lot of things, just differing in the degree of happiness. but one thing? uno? impossible. methinks. but i don't think enough.. how?

has anyone never had a bad day before? i dunno about this one too. they may have bad days but 'chose' not to treat it as such. can you? well, nevertheless, do have a good day and stay safe always! ciao!

rocky mountain oysters

we lost the championship game last night *bummer* we lost it on a golden-goal (meaning: the game was tied at the end of regulation (we were tied at 3-3) and we had to play an additional 5 minutes sudden-death, first team that scores win). it wasn't a good way to lose but it happened. we probably won't feel as bad if we'd won. we had most of the possession and more chances, but we didn't put them away. in retrospect, the season has been a success. we won 5 games, lost 2, and drew one game. we lost both games to the same team. i put together the team after so many seasons of underachievement. this new team is more competitive and more solid in every department. we probably need a better goalie though. we'll come back stronger. and we definitely want them 'champions' t-shirts!!

yong tau foo

too many thing to do. and i'm tired. physically and mentally. need a vacation. wanna start my own business and be the boss of me. i've been seriously thinking about getting an mba. but have been seriously lacking in conviction. maybe i'm too honest with myself. 'honesty' in the sense that i realized how much i'm limited in terms of pure determination and motivation. some days you just have to buckle down and grind out for results. been too laid-back methinks. at the end of it though, it's down to how bad you want something. right now, i don't have that motivation. i suck. please give me time.

black pepper crab

i have this believable tired look. even though i've never used this 'ability' to ask for some time off from work, i've thought damn hard about it. especially when espn's showing live champions league matches.. it's 7- and 8-hours back from the local uk and continental european times respectively. looks can be deceiving. i always have this reservation about playing guys that doesn't-look-like-a-player when i sign up for tennis tournaments. you know the type. most of them look like some pakcik who's headed for a walk at the park instead of playing in a high-octane tennis match against me. got psycho'd out a few times already. nothing's worse than losing to these guys. usually i go in with my full tennis gear - 3 wilson tennis racquets, matching tennis bag, full nike apparel - with one objective in mind - looking intimidating in order to psycho the other guy. the true gauge of his capabilities will be made known when we start warming up. i'll hit unbelievable ground strokes from both wings, make solid volleys, and never miss my overheads. by this time, if the other guy can match my shots, then i'd be in deep shit. only then i'll start thinking of a gameplan. at the level i'm competing at, typically, guys will have trouble hitting good, solid backhands. so i'll direct my attacks there. if this gets too easy, i'll re-direct my offense to the guy's stronger shot and nullify it. this way, i'll break him down more. see, i'm not just another pretty face you know. often times, the strategy goes against me. for some reasons, my opponents employ the same tactics against me. hmmm... anyways, i've set a target to win one tournament this year, at least. aiming for the more prestigious ones, i.e. austin scott invitational, broomfield open, boulder open, or denver city open. well, to tell you the truth, i'd settle on winning anything right now. wish me luck people. which kinda reminds me, i haven't found a coach yet. ate at korea house for lunch today. walked into the place, then the nice korean makcik waitress asked, "spicy calamari?", before i even sat down. i was amused. smiled, nodded, asked for hot tea, and sat down at an open table. when the food came out, she brought with her two bowls of rice (aisey, can't this makcik see i'm trying to lose some weight?). there goes my 2-miles of hard running from last night. it was satisfying to say the least. and it means that i've got to wake up early tomorrow morning and burn some calories! i've got my weekend pretty much set. hope you'll have a wonderful one too. stay safe and take care k! ps: been listening to sheila-on-7's '30 hari mencari cinta' soundtrack that i bought when i went to jb in november

beaten to a pulp

writing is a full-time job. i'm becoming more aware of that fact since i started blogging. in a sense, i know that i'm not obligated to write quirky, funny, and meaningful articles every time, every day. still, i feel that it won't be too much of time-wasting to at least try writing a piece that, at the end of it, people would be in awe and nod their heads together in agreement, thinking how smart this guy is. writing has been an important aspect of how i communicate with people.. i think i'll get my ideas and/or messages across better through writing. i think i beat around the bush too much when i talk. and, often times, i don't know when i'm suppose to stop talking till i get myself into trouble, if you know what i mean. there's a malay saying that goes like - "kerana kata, badan binasa" - that i always keep in mind. there are a lot of people in the blogging realm who can really write. i don't know how they do it consistently, but most of the blogs were well-thought of, well-contructed, and well-presented. awesome. makes for good reading and entertainment.

anyways, it's st. patrick's day today. i can see people at work wearing green and being jolly. kinda makes me wonder whether they've had any guinesses already. there's an irish bar at a place called chijmes in singapore that most of my american colleagues hang out when we're on business trips there. the location is superbly convenient for us since it's just across the street from the hotels that we usually stay in, raffles the plaza and/or swissotel the stamford. somewhat 'permitting' unruly and childish behavior when you've enough to drink! the place's called 'father flanagan's'. and i've never seen any caucasian that's closed to resembling an irishman (or, woman) working there. 3-4 young, hot, and locals, yes. the place is always swarming with people, at least on those nights that i go there. it's pretty amazing how much alcohol these people can consume. i'll be racing to the restroom after my second glass of coke. and all this before we head out for dinner! good times, eh! hehe.. there'll be a st. paddy's parade in denver this saturday. it's an annual event. never been there since i moved here though. not sure about this year either. i think i'll have better things to do on a saturday morning (sleep in, sleep in some more, tv). if you guys have a chance to travel to the uk, try adding ireland to the itinerary. i've been in dublin for 1 1/2 weeks before and loved every moment there, wet and freezing cold and all. of course we were so very much in love then come rain or shine. might go there again.

so much going-ons at work. while i feel that my professional reputation is flourishing, due to pure determination ans smarts, i should well know also how office politics can be punishing and very unforgiving. gotta keep your feet on the ground at all times, watch your back when 'discussing', urm, 'sensitive topics' (and for backstabbers), suck up every now and then *wink2*, and most importantly get your job done (done right and timely). nothing beats the floating sensation when you're somewhat hailed as a hero in a meeting room full of big-shots after solving a major crisis. corporate survival. punishing. unforgiving. corporate policy: here's a pat on the back for a job well-done, and here are some more work for you. do work longer hours and no vacation time till furlough. in retrospect, i am truly grateful with where i'm at right now and absolutely happy with what i'm doing right now. i think i have a cool job. definitely not one that was conjured during grade school. could've been worse. i'm grateful.

2-miles tonight and a book to finish. hope the day's been kind to you so far. take it easy and enjoy life's little pleasures wherever you may be. stay safe:)

sweet child of mine

hehe.. someone named her car 'daisy'.. cute:) i think i'm gonna name my cars too. any suggestions? anyway, it's tuesday here and i've come to the end of another stupendous hectic day at the office. to top it off, the group's got a glowing praise of approval and appreciation from the project's core team for a job well-done. now, if i can figure out a way that all these praises can be converted into monetary form, i'll be set for the next few years hehe, boleh ke?.. not complaining or anything, just a thought.

and, my indoor soccer team in westminster (paranoid.android) will be playing for the championship! yeay!! is this awesome or what?! in our first season together, we've reached a dizzying height. we'll be up against the one team that beat us in the regular season. it'll be a good match. watch this space next week.

well, i was gonna elaborate on how my bedroom looks like, after reading a post in another blog, but kinda running out of time. anyways, it's a total mess. one thing though, i'll make my bed in the morning. that's the only that's tidy. i never fold my shirts/t-shirts with the intention that i'll hang them in the closet after the drier. now it's one big pile of cloth, smacked in one corner of the room. magazines, novels, books, and manga are anywhere and everywhere within reach from my lying down position on the bed. tennis rackets and balls are piled in another corner of the room. once i get these individual piles piled up in their respective corners, the room actually looks a bit tidy. so, there. okeh-kokeh.. hope everybody's doing well and enjoying the good weather. take care!

undone

well, it's been another hectic day at work. i'm spent. at least it's friday and another weekend for myself (meaning no work and/or on-calls for work). and i've bought a few manga titles that should keep me occupied for tonight, plus another daniel silva novel, 'the unlikely spy'. i've done reading 'the confessor' a few days ago and found it left wanting in a few plots, somewhat lacking in depth, relative to dan brown's 'the da vinci code'. wow! these 'fiction' novels about church conspiracies and the knights templars and priory of scion and mossad and assassin-for-hire are really, really intriguing. lets see how mr. silva's debut would stack up againt these other novels.

i've written a little bit about how i view the 'imperfections' in women to be wonderful traits (?!).. something to celebrate even. what are these 'imperfections'? most of the women that i've met and known are overly conscious about their physical traits, that they've basically put up a 'protective shell' to guard their inner consciousness from public exposure and scrutiny. and most of them have some attitude to boot too. this may be caused by how the general feeling towards this materialistic world dictates what we wear and how we look, especially to the female gender. first impression always counts. still i find it beautiful and refreshing on how cute(?!) they can be acting amidst their ever stern and aggressive outlook. how can't you find it 'funny' when you talk to your gf over the phone after buying her a pair of shoes and you know that she's wearing them in bed at that time? i love that aspect of eccentricities, of being honest and trying to be vain and admitting all that with a hearty laugh. God.. i'm a total sucker for all things cute;) again, this is based on my personal experience, and with a grand sample size of 2 (this alone had me violating the fundamental principle of six-sigma), i may be stretching the truth a bit. but hey, tell me what you think.

ps: i took a few days writing this entry, and still i don't have the slightest clue of what i was trying to say.. hopeless.

gremmie out of control

croc


research


trespassing


stay clean


mafia insurance

::last kiss::

after 1 1/2 days, i finally figured out what was wrong with this one sucker of a failure. amazing. i'd imagined that i've seen them all after more than 5 years in the profession. i think i was looking too hard at it when it's glaringly and obviously there to discover. ish.. ish.. ish... i need a vacation. felt lifted after the entire ordeal, especially when you have a couple of senior directors almost literally breathing down my neck since yesterday. glad got that done and over with. the not-so-good news? we haven't even reached the 'fun' part of the development yet! that's when we start getting into a higher gear.. more parts built and tested and thus more failures. by then hopefully we've weeded through most of the systems level issues and only deal with 'historical' wear-n-tear kinda failures. been asked by the boss about the impending product launch support in singapore.. so, i could be there as early as the end of march. hehe.. another trip home:)

the 'ayam masak merah' i prepared last night was excellent. thanks to lissa for her input.. couldn't have done it on my photographic memory alone!! thus i hereby declare that the dish is the best in colorado! considering that it was my first attempt some more. quite surprisingly really because i've never had the, urm, urge(?!) to cook the dish before. it's a very simple dish to prepare once you've done it, relative to other dishes i've prepared like 'chicken kurma' or 'kuah kacang' (peanut sauce). it definitely adds to my repertoire lah. wondering how much my two sisters, kda and mcwu, can believe this public tormenting?! hehe.. sabar je lah. anyways, we've still got plenty of ground to cover before any one of us can challenge kakak.. the successor supreme to mama's cooking prowess. kinda miss mama's nasi kerabu right now... *sigh*

well, the weekend's fast approaching again. some weeks past me by so fast that i can't remember to actually get anything done. some are absurdly slow that i'd remember almost every detail of what i went through. but those times that had passed by will not return, and we're stuck in the 'now' (until that passes us by) and the future to look forward to. cherish the moment and do something memorable for a change! have a good weekend (i still have a friday), drive safely, and be safe. ciao!

monkey wrench

i'm very depressed right now. i've been thinking about a super-duper-ultra superlative for depression but couldn't figure out that one mother-of-all-depression. i'm too depressed to even try. hopeless. manchester united bowed out of the champions league to the mighty milan. this is the second year straight that united failed to reach the quarterfinals, and in unconvincing fashion as well. two goalkeeper blunders (tim howard in last year's aggregate lost to eventual champions porto, and roy carroll in the first-leg home defeat) had caused heartache to millions of the reds faithfuls around the globe. not to mention how flabbergasted and astounding such a big club as united to have flaky goalies since the departure of peter 'the great dane' schmeichel. guess money can't buy everything. but hey look at what chelsea has become! and rightly so. i hate to see chelsea go on and win the champions league though. it's just to show that someone can 'buy' a championship. sad but looking increasingly true. and they have the czech, petr cech, in goal. he's been in awesome form since moving from ligue1. plus jose mourinho's an amazing coach, a genius in his own right. and to me, this year's chelsea-barcelona tie is one for the classics collection. i need to shave and have a haircut. nothing wrong, just feel, urm, a little 'berserabut'. disorderly. disoriented. lost in deep thoughts of nothingness. tired. okeh-kokeh, i'm sure you'll have a better day than mine. keep the spirits up and smile always!:) ps: sis., no idea who melissa crider is.

stupid turned into a powerful freak

i got a terrible stomach ache right now.. agonising pain and very, very uncomfortable. it must be the sambal tumis from yesterday. how can i concentrate on my work when i'm in this state? and it's monday some more, damn! i don't think i'll last the day. if not for the meeting at 3pm, i'd probably be gone by now. on a more positive note, my indoor soccer team at westminster, paranoid.android, won a very critical game last night. it was a hard fought match and our attitude was commandable. we were without arguably our better guy player and gal player. but we got the result that we wanted. now we need to make sure we win our last game next week and root for the 4th. placed team to beat the 2nd. placed team. that would put us at second and another crack at the 1st. placed team for the championship. mouth-watering prospect indeed. oh, kudos to mcwu! yeay! believe or not she managed to prepare chicken kurma, on my advice! haha!! amazing! hey sis., proud of you:) kda, bilo awok nok masok chicken kari pulok nih? hehe!! culinary genius.

anyways, i was gonna write about something serious that warrants your time and ideas, but i feel quesy now. i'm currently reading a few books. not at the same time of course. my mind works in serial-mode, meaning i can only do one thing at a time. but my attention span has always been short, so, meaning i'd lose interest in something very quick. that's when i start switching to a few other things. back to the reading materials, i've started reading a book called 'the dead sea scrolls and the gospel of barnabas' by an author i forgot the name, 'the last unicorn' by Peter Beagle, and a book on aikido, and of course manga on the side. the first book is of particular interest because of its historical and biblical significance. i think i'm fascinated by historical accounts. one thing about history though, and i'm sure someone has mentioned this earlier, is that it's biased to a certain side of a story. most probably to the side that was more in power during those times. the chronical of how genghis khan conquered the whole of central asia would be different if we recount the story from the victor's side versus the point of view of the side that got trampled over and more. but yeah, history's cool.

to do's in the next 2-weeks: get a tennis coach, learn to swim

manga watch: 'naruto' and 'samurai deeper kyo'

in the cd changer: 'hopes and fears' (keane), 'franz ferdinand' (franz ferdinand), 'contraband' (velvet revolver), 'up all night' (razorlight), 'pablo honey' (radiohead) 'thank you' (stp)

dont go back to dalston

have you ever thought about trying to make your life better? most people probably have, but how many of us have actually achieved what we set out to do? i'm pretty sure many of you out there have tasted sweet success in one way or another. growing up, i think i dreamt of alot of things that i wanna do, i.e. be the first malaysian tennis grand slam champion (wimbledon yeah!), or be playing professional soccer for manchester united, or be a super cool, sexy spy ala james bond etc. etc. well quite obviously none of them has happened of course.. not even close, but have willed me to aim high. during those formative years also i've began to 'plan' for my future more realistically. what do i wanna do after high school, after college, and so on so forth.. and definitely never have imagined myself being at where i'm at right now, being an average student and what-not. on the flip side, i could've ended up worst too. so, the lesson here is never stop dreaming about what you want to achieve, but keep your feet on the ground and work your butts off too. be grateful with we have now.. a good career, a loving family, never have to worry about putting a decent meal on the table, some nice pairs of high heels, a freaking sports car, and what-have-yous.. and keep on striving for a better tomorrow! God willing... okeh, i'm off to borders again for some reading (for free). my dear friend the sickman from jb/singapore got me hooked to 'naruto' and me like, have to add this title to my swelling collection of manga... dude, lagu mano aku nok save pitih nok nikoh nih?! hehe.. comic boleh buat hantaran jugak ke?!

::yellow ledbetter::

rise and shine! how are you doing today? hope everyone's fine and dandy-lah. it's coming towards the end of the week already and i'm sure plenty has happened since. as for myself, life's been kind.. cant complain. what makes you happy? i was asked the same question some time ago by someone i loved, and i fumbled answering it.. meaning i answered it wrongly, methinks. i had a couple of days to think about it and came up with a better answer, methinks, "i'm happy when you are". ok ke? then i had the audicity to came back to her after a few days and told her my 'new' answer. she looked like she was pondering on it for a little bit, but the 'magic' could well be gone by then lah kot. cant beat saying the right thing at the right time. that one moment in my life may not alter anything that had happened since, but the thought lingers on though. anyways, i survived my 2-mile run yesterday and more. felt totally spent afterwards but inspired.. hence the 'daging masak merah halia' and 'chicken kurma', in one night's cooking! cheh, punyelah workout tapi then belasah makan tak ingat!! the irony of it all.. hehe.

lost dogs

i'm still debating about going to the gym afterwards. dont feel too good.. demam-like symptom. got my eye checked and to my relief, there were no evidence of tear and such, just a little inflammed. i was trying to be at my absolute best after the treatment, had both of my eyes dilated, but turned out to be an almost impossible task. couldn't focus on anything and bright lights were, urm, brighter. now got some kind of headache.. hence the dilemma about the gym. anyways, i just realized that i ter'sent' birthday wishes that were intended for my sister to mia. chaos. this could turn into one big freaking mess i'm telling you! luckily, i dont keep secret love interest(s) haha!! so, sent my sister a belated birthday wish and hope that she likes the 'present' that i deposited into her account. on a more serious note, i might be going to singapore again as early as end of march. that would be awesome! man, i love my job. since i moved here, i've been sent over to singapore four times. that's an average of one fully-paid business-class trip home, er to work, per annum hehe. plus accommodation at a five-star hotel in downtown singapore for the whole duration of my stay there. jeles tak? jeles tak? then again, it's always been very, very tiring. hard work etc. etc. at the end of it though, i got to see friends and family again. it's amazing how a lot of people treat me now.. some sort of in a different light. more respected. i'm very much enjoying the moment! till the next installment, take care and take it easy ya! ps: i think i'll do my 2-mile run tonight, for the heck of it. kalau muntah darah, muntah darah laaahh..

start shouting

the scariest thing happened to me last night. it was perhaps more scarier than getting circumcised or watching jeepers creepers alone. i lost vision on my right eye after being struck by a football from 4-ft away. gruesome.. the match (we lost badly) and i felt sick. i saw stars for a little bit than realized that i was struggling shaking them off, with a numbing feeling on the right-side of my head. total blur. i thought my contact lense came off. but when i felt that it was still there, i panicked. holy crap! i couldn't see a thing! good thing, we got two eyes hehe. still it's true what they say about losing yer depth perception. yeah i stayed on until the final whistle but i wasn't any help either.. keep giving the ball away like a it's free candy or something, stoopid. and managed to drive home with one eye closed. so, it stayed like that for another hour or so. freaking out now that i won't be able to see my girl again. got home around 10pm and showered and was ready to visit the ER. then it got slightly better. could see again albeit still quite blurry. nonetheless was rather relieved. woke up this morning feeling very sore from the night's excursions and emotional ups and downs, but i could see way better now. gonna see the optometrist today after work. well, it may not sound scary enough to you, but it sure as hell got me scared enough. very grateful now that my right eye's ok again. to tell you the truth, i probably won't look good with an eye-patch on, plus my depth perception would probably get me into a lot of trouble, i.e. keep bumping into pretty girls etc. hehe.. take care. ciao!

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hah! the strangest thing happened to me just now. i had my yahoo-messenger on and wasn't expecting anyone. well every once in awhile a good buddy of mine from san jose, let's call him BW (not his real name), would drop me a line. he's been pretty quiet especially with liverpool doing ever so badly (sweet!). anyways, a gal ping'd me (i'm guessing it's a gal) and wanted to have on-line sex with me! amazing, this must be my lucky day ahaks!! fyi, i've never gone through this before so i played along. didn't know what to expect lor. the closest experience i've had regarding this was the scene in 'closer' where jude law pretended to be a gal and flirted the hell with this doctor dude on-line. well, as for myself, it did get a little bit hot after she said something like "i'm on my knees and helping you out of your pants"! i mean, what's a nice, religious, country boy like moi to do, right?! and it went on for a few more minutes, all that while with me looking over my shoulders. damn! it's freaking tough to get horny when you're actually at work, working for real.. in a lab some more, with people walking around!! haha!! i was more anxious than anything else.. seriously didn't have a freaking clue what i wrote, but she replied. so it mustn't been that bad, right?! hilarious..! okeh-kokeh. gtg for real now. rest my sore eye. take care:)