elderly woman behind the counter in a small town

sometimes it's very hard to understand people's motivation behind their actions... one of those things that you're just better off letting them be. and we keep forgetting that what might seem absurd from our point of view, perfectly makes sense from another... we just don't see it, or too proud to admit it, or too plain scared to face the fact. and what we keep forgetting most is all those are God's will. when we really think about it, things do happen for a reason. it's amazing how much we re-visit our past, especially when we try the hardest not to go back. what gives? i don't know. one thing i know though, it's perhaps best to embrace those uncertainties and live and learn - the pain, the gain, the enjoyment, the heartbreaks, and the whole experience, from them. this past weekend, i think i did just that and came out being more grateful and stronger than i've ever been in a while. this past weekend, i think i've met the most beautiful of God's creation that i've seen. a baby boy. aqil zarfan. it was nice to meet you and may Allah blessed you always, ameen.

what's the meaning of life? one-hundred wise men could each give you one-hundred different answers. it very much depends on what you want. if in that instance you're craving for a slice of toast bread, the meaning of life in that split second could mean your struggle to get to your favorite breakfast spot for what your heart desires. i think a good definition to life itself resides in your hearts. what do you want to achieve, and how do you come about achieving those goals. i salute those of you who are courageous enough to get out of your comfort zone and experience life in a different light. hehe... hey, don't worry if you don't understand at what i'm getting at... even i can't understand half of what i'm trying to say too at the times :P

(elderly woman behind the counter in a small town - pearl jam's Vs.) i seem to recognize your face. hunting familiar, yet i can't seem to place it. cannot find the candle of thought to light your name. lifetimes are catching up with me. all these changes taking place. i wish i'd seen the place but no one's ever taken me. hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away (x2). i swear i recognize your breath. memories, like fingerprints, are slowly raising. me you wouldn't recall for i'm not my former. it's hard when your stuck upon the shelf. i changed by not changing at all. small town predicts my fate. perhaps that's what no one wants to see. i just want to scream, "hello". my God its been so long. never dreamed you'd return. but now here you are and here i am. hearts and thoughts they fade away. hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away (x2). hearts and thoughts they fade away. yeah. hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away (x3). hearts and thoughts they fade...

go

one of the songs that could get me started any day - 'go' from pearl jam's vs. album

Oh, please don't go out on me. Don't go on me now. Never acted up before. Don't go on me now. I swear I never took it for granted. Just thought of it now. Suppose I abused you. Just passing it on. Go, fuck. Once fastened, survival, now you're getting sharp. Moving oh so swiftly with such disarm. I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm. Turned to my nemesis. A fool no fucking god. No, time... Suck, my... Please... Don't go on me. (x4) Please... Nooh. Suck, blood.... Touch, please... Tunnel vision. Tuck... Time.... See... Please, please, please... Don't go on me. (x4)Please... Don't you want me? Don't go on me. Please don't go on me.

no surprises

i've just been asked to extend my stay here in singapore for another two weeks. i think i'll agree to it since i still have some unfinished business here and people to meet :) feeling rather special for a little bit. i will have to continue this entry later.

seroja

i was inclined to say that i'm so terribly busy with work (which i am unfortunately), but that would be too easy and less dramatic. hence the obvious reason being that my laziness-level had reached a record high in the times of jerebu (haze) over lembah klang and it had affected my mood. i'm telling you.. the weather.. :D but those of you residing in the affected areas, please do take the necessary precautions. imagining being in the haze alone would make my eyes all watery and would probably exaggerate my asthma. so, do take care ya!

had another terrific weekend in singapore, hanging out with friends and going places. woke up at 1pm like nobody's business. as always, feisal, ck, and lil yasmin have been the best-est of hosts, and ck's nasi dagang still reigns supreme over all of temasek (made my saturday.. tenkiu2). then sheryl and amir and noreez joined us later at ck's. felt like i have family here. watched united beat everton at goodison park before linking up with ck, noreez, sheryl, and amir, who were out having fun at fort canning and shopping, at kaki lima cafe, haji lane.. cool, happening hangout place. all the time that i spent here, that was the only time i went. kinda sad. on sunday, after miraculously waking up early, went for a walk around orchard rd. sweated like crazy. then joined the gang at bugis junction. and they bought my gifts :) i don't know what for, but thanks a bunch anyways. felt extremely blessed and special for the next 15 minutes. dinner at sakura, far east plaza before saying our goodbyes.

i'll be done here in singapore on wednesday. it's been a long and hectic 6 weeks, but i think i got a lot done. got the best performance review for the year.. alhamdulillah. and that just shows that sometimes it pays to brag (masuk bakul, angkat sendiri) about yourself, especially if you speak up a little bit, not to the point of annoyance though. you gotta fight for what you believe is yours. looking forward for a break and i pretty much have the whole 2 weeks planned out, at least the weekends. and i'm very, very anxious to hear a news from kl in the next week or so. may that be a good one too, insyaAllah.

okeh-kokeh.. take care. and i'll try to update this friggin blog more often. ciao!

bullet proof... i wish i was

i had the most wonderful weekend that any world-traveller dude (heh!) would've dreamt of. and perhaps the most happening (and 'clean') weekend that i've had had here in singapore (ok, let's not get into too much details here). kinda sad to miss my junior high school reunion in tanjong malim on saturday, because i had to stay for, urm, a 'professional commitment' (ie work), but i had the privilege of meeting up with some awesome, beautiful people here, for what counts as my blogger friends. got a surprise call from lissa kharina late saturday afternoon, while i was drafting a masterpiece of a literature that is my report.. amidst voices in my head (ie tengah pening and tension because i had to be at work). she said she's with sheryl at ck's place in jurong and she didn't have too much time because she had to rush back to jb by 7.30pm for her best-friend's akad nikah ceremony and whether we can meet up. oh, and she wanted to go to orchard road and shop (maybe...?!) and it was already kinda late. i thought to myself, nope she's not gonna make it and i'll probably won't have other opportunities to see her because she's moving to kl soon ( i found out later that she was moving to kl yesterday). then i told her i'd meet her in jurong in 1/2 hour, at ck's condo. so, that's how, when, and where i met lissa kharina. bonus points: i also got to meet sheryl, ck, feisal (ck's husband), and of course, little yasmin:) more bonus points: the laksa that ck prepared (superbly yummy!). on sunday, i got to meet noreez and kj (feisal and ck's lembing friend who's also in singapore on a business trip.. i think i got this right, wasn't concentrating because i got my eyes on lil yasmin's kiddies burgers then) and tasted the best nasi dagang in singapore! a slice of heaven from home!! (now, if only i can talk ck into preparing singgang 'ganu.. that would make this trip the best ever, ever!... ever! haha!!) thanks for the company and hospitality everybody. we should do this more often. and speaking of singgang, my dearest sister in kl text-messaged me about her singgang... this is something worth waiting for. so sis, insyaAllah i'll be going to kl this coming weekend, pehe2 ler k! oh, you going with me to temerloh right? for nurul's wedding? hmm well let me know. i can't think straight right now.. still high from ck's nasi dagang hehe.. okeh-kokeh. stay safe everybody:)