see you

restless. this is the feeling that i'm having right now. been having this feeling for the past few weeks at least. why? i can't really decribe it. it may have been a combination of work stress, lack of sleep, and not eating right. or maybe i'm missing someone. and singgang.

i've written before about how much i needed to get organized. the apartment's a big mess. the fridge is smelling funny. the bathtub needs a major scrubbing. been going into work late. and so on so forth with a lot of other slacks. maybe these have been contributing to my being restless. kinda funny after re-reading what i've written earlier. somewhat ironic that i think i know what's wrong in my life and i think i know what i needed to do, but having little motivation to change these.

i got almost a week to straighten this mess here before heading out. now i'm really looking forward to not doing anything for a couple of days back home. i could find solace in obscurity. in the place where time seems to stand still. in the place where i first breathed the air on my own. should be great!

right now, i just want to sleep.

sparks

i can't sleep. late night football matches are hard. feel age is catching up on me.

i got almost two full weeks before i fly back home. so much work, so little time. and so much to look forward to. can't wait!

selling the drama

all that i've ever asked of you is a little trust. if that is too much to ask, then i don't know what else to do. trust has been a central theme in my life in the past decade or so. it is perhaps an attribute that is expected in a person and what is expected of me, due largely, but not restricted, to the fact that we live a world's apart. sometimes i don't know what i'm getting at.

it has been a relaxing couple of days. yesterday was thanksgiving and today is another day off. slept in both days and now i feel sorta kinda nauseous. i guess there is such a thing as too much of a good thing not being good for you! nevertheless, i enjoy this still.

hey you.. be it that you're just gonna kick back and do nothing or flying off to phuket, stay safe k. have a great weekend!

we never change

my left eye twitched all day yesterday. gets annoying towards the end of the day. but i survived it. i need to re-evaluate my entire being (meaning: change my lifestyle.. a bit). for starters, i need to get to bed earlier (like at 10pm) and get the full complement of 6-8 hours of quality sleep time. i think my current sleep routine (or the deprivation of it) leads to the left eye twitching all day yesterday and annoyed the living daylight out of me. there.

everlong

it's true that when you thought that you know something, that's when you realized you don't know anything. i've been feeling somewhat out of depth in my line of work, particularly about computer know-how these past few days. this sucks. points to ponder that.

on a more personal note, i've been struggling to understand and describe this stirred up feeling that i've had in the last few hours. i mean.. i barely know her. and 'casino royale' is just decently superb, not great. or maybe it's one of those 'breathe out.. so i can breathe you in.. hold you in' (everlong, 'the color and the shape' album, foo fighters, 1997) moments. sorta kinda.

and before i sign off here, can anybody give me a psychological explanation, or legal even, to why i'd always get stomach aches whenever i have impure thoughts?

save room

today has been hectic. to say the least. it seems like a norm sometimes. but of course i'm exaggerating. i've been on cruise control at work for the past couple of weeks. i'm sure things will pick up again. like next week. but at least i gotta do a cool project and i'm sure it won't bore to death. other than work, everything else seems to be falling apart. there are days when i just feel like the whole world has turned against me. i used to be more paranoid about it but i've been trying not to take it too seriously. else it'll just mess with my head more. that comes with age.. gosh.. feels terribly old to be saying that.

the rockies.. in touching distance

we lost the championship game. it sucks. i guess looking cool in those knock-off manchester united reds doesn't win you points. but we sure look good though!

and it seems more likely than not that i'll be headed home for hari raya haji this year. this time, i'll make sure that i'll be getting that do-nothing few days to myself. hmm koh samui sounds mighty awesome now! i'll post pictures, i promise. til then, hope you're having a great weekend. be safe :)

denver skyline

everything you want

i was sitting in the car in the parking lot at work just now, wondering why do i ever wanted to try skydiving? i was thrilled enough to be just sitting in a fast car. i don't need any more, extra injection of adrenaline. or do i?

tonight's the championship game for my indoor soccer team in westminster. we've went unbeaten in league play (6 wins and 1 draw) and will be playing for the championship. i hope everybody will bring their best game tonight. we drew against this same opponent last week, so everybody's all fired up to perform better. i'll update it here tomorrow.

and, it seems like i'll be going home for hari raya haji this december. watch this space as well. hope you'll have a brilliant week ahead. stay safe!