let down

God! depression is a nasty, nasty thing. i'm sure everyone of us has been through it at least once in our lifetime and, to some extent, to a different degree altogether. from my personal account, even the slighest 'things' can drive me mad and plunge me deep in depression-land. the other day, i went out and hit some tennis balls with a colleague from work. i haven't hit a tennis ball for awhile but it did feel good during warm up.. didn't feel any rustiness and such. then we started playing and half-way through the set, i missed a sitter, and another.. and another.. started spraying my serves and, honestly at that point, i felt like having a nervous breakdown!! is that how a nervous breakdown felt?! can't really explain what i was feeling then but just thought about quitting there and then. and it was supposed to be a friendly, fun thing to do. nothing was at stake and i knew going into it that i haven't been playing in a loooong time, so was kinda expecting a poor display.. . i dunno. driving back home afterwards, i thought and thought about what had happened and how could i be feeling so down. thinking about that little blimp in my week, it's mindboggling that something insignificant could dictate the mood. can't expect too much when it comes to these things. get over it!

according to the weather forecast, colorado's gonna be hit by a major snow storm as early as tonight. cool. the place can be awfully dry and the snow would bring much needed moisture. when i first moved to colorado about four years ago, i couldn't get sweaty like i normally do when i'm at home. i took about a year to fully acclimitized to the weather and altitude here. they weren't kidding when they say denver's a mile high! but when we have days like the last few days, this is perhaps one of the most beautiful places that i've been too. having said that, i don't know how much longer i want to stay here. new york city's always been an intriguing place to me. surprisingly i've never been there. there's so much romance associated with the city. i want to at least experience its eccentricites and pleasures in my lifetime. that would be awesome!

the weekend's been an absolutely welcoming fixture for me. i got to sleep in this morning. but united lost to norwich and pretty much plunging me into the depth of depression again. i have a party to go to in a bit. then i think i'll go see 'sin city'. kinda hoping that we'll get no snow tonight because i have a 9am soccer match tomorrow. soccer normally distracts me enough from the lingering depressive thoughts, which is a good thing. manga's another thing.. except that none of the titles i collect have new series out! freaking weird..! amazing how 20 different manga titles have no new edition out.. at the same time! i smell a conspiracy here to keep me from feeling good. not to fear, my resolves are strong. drive safely ya! ciao!